How Do I Stop My Husband From Hanging Out With His Friends? I Feel So Lonely

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Dear Ma ,

 Your blog makes me happy. please withhold my personal ID for privacy/decoding things. I need your opinion and that of your blog visitors on this issue.

I have been married for almost seven years, blessed with amazing kids and a husband who is an amazing father to them.

Prior to our wedding, hubby used to hang out with his buddies at joints/bars/pub every evening. I thought it was going to stop after the wedding or at least reduce once we got married. I even asked him stylishly, when we were courting,if that was how he was going to keep leaving me all by myself, at home in the evenings when we are married. He said no. That it's because we were not married that's why he loves to spend his evenings with his friends at joints.

Almost 7 years into our marital journey, he still hangs out regularly. from Monday's to Fridays he goes to bars after his daily business. He comes back home from 9pm sometimes 10pm, once in a while 12pm. Then on Saturdays he stays back except when he has functions to attend and after which he would still hang out at a joint/bar. on Sundays,after church he stays home all through. No bar.

In all of these I feel hurt because during the week I get to spend my evenings with just the kids. I long for adult conversation at the end of the day. I am a stay at home mum for now and I always look forward to family time in the evenings. When he comes home, the kids would be asleep,he eats,we talk a little and he dozes off. No quality time.

I have begged,nagged,prayed,fought over this same bar issue for years. He keeps saying he would change but does nothing. He keeps saying all his friends that he hangs out with are all married with kids and their wives have not killed them.

I am a kind woman, peace loving, family oriented, homely kind of woman. I don't give him trouble at home.i do the best within my means to keep a tidy and peaceful home for him to always want to return to yet he prefers to hang out with his friends every evening. Sometimes when he is free during the day he comes home for lunch and stays for sometime but once it's 5pm you would see him dressing up to leave.

He says hanging out makes him happy. I told him to strike a balance .To hang out some days and then some other week days be home before dark like 5pm or 6pm, so that we can spend time together in the evenings sometimes. Just Saturday and Sunday evenings are not enough. If he was out of town or staying out late for business reasons I would understand. Not for social reasons. We live in a small city without serious traffic problems so not getting home on time because of gridlock is out of it.

Our sex life is so irregular. My hubby can stay for 3months without even touching me. Sometimes I initiate sex and it happens but sometimes I deliberately don't initiate because I long to feel desired. although our kids are young and they hardly sleep In their rooms all through the night and for convenience hubby and I have been sleeping in separate rooms with kids.

My hubby does not see anything wrong.he feels he takes care of us and provides all that we need and that is paramount.sometimes I feel so lonely and I wish I could turn back the hands of time to marry a homely man.

 Blog visitors am I asking for too much? He keeps saying the wives of his friends don't complain about their husbands and that some men stay out later than he does without problems from their wives. I don't know what else to do. Please advice is needed.

Source: Stella Dimokokurkus Blog
How Do I Stop My Husband From Hanging Out With His Friends? I Feel So Lonely How Do I Stop My Husband From Hanging Out With His Friends? I Feel So Lonely Reviewed by Elora Akpotosevbe on November 08, 2017 Rating: 5

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